Week 10 of Deb’s 52 Simplify Your Life challenge is about facing your FEARS.
Aside from the usual spider, snake, emergency room fears, I think deep within I am afraid of not being liked and not being good enough.
The more I think about it, the more I realise I am the creator and feeder of my fears.
It is an interesting thought to ponder. A lot of my actions (or lack of) keep me safe, so I never have to face my fears or step outside my comfort zone.
I fear people won’t like me; so I don’t initiate conversation.
I fear people will judge my life and choices; so I allow my house to descend into clutter-full chaos, which gives me an excuse not to invite people over.
I fear what family and friends will think of my inner voice; so I don’t share my mummy blog.
I fear I am not good enough; so I eat more, snap at loved ones, busy myself in meaningless tasks and generally sabotage my own happiness.
Why? It seems ridiculous when I read it on paper. The only expectations I am not living up to are my own. No-one else has ever told me I am not good enough. No-one has avoided me because of an untidy house (well not to my knowledge – lol). But by putting up these barriers, I am giving my fears fuel and preventing positive outcomes for myself.
I love this poem by Marianne Williamson. Who am I NOT to be fabulous? I believe every one of my children, family and friends deserve to feel happy, confident, loved and to shine. So perhaps I should change my thoughts and actions and give myself permission to do the same.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
a return to love – marianne williamson
I have loved participating in Deb’s 52 Week Simplify Your Life challenge. Some weeks are rainbows and fluffy clouds, others are much harder, delving deep within. Today I am starting to face my fears by linking up to the SYL community and sharing this post with my friends and family via facebook. This week my goal is to take myself out shopping for new clothes and to have a serious clean up at home… because I am fabulous and I deserve it! (can’t read this last sentence without smiling – might need some work on that!)
Feel free to comment, or not. I hope you are able to take something from Marianne’s poem as I have. Thanks for stopping by. E x