I have really enjoyed the personal learning and discovery that has been my 52 week Simplify Your Life journey so far. Week 9’s challenge is to Go Easier on Yourself. Let go of something that is not currently serving you.
This is deeply personal and confronting for me, but I am choosing to participate fully because I know it is a stepping stone for my own greater good and I have gained so much from participating in this challenge already.
So, here goes…
I recently saw an affirmation, posted on Facebook by my friend Precocious Lotus. Straight away I recognised core values I want to bestow on my children: belief in one’s self and the power of choice.
When I let it sit with me for a while, I realised this is possibly my greatest personal challenge. So then, how can I encourage authenticity and strength of character in my children when I do not accept myself?
I have many negative beliefs quietly hovering in the back of my mind, some of the more prominent being:
- I am a failure – Being a stay-at-home mum is my full time job. Days when my house is a mess, I’ve not prepared dinner and my children are badly behaved, I feel like I am a failure and have nothing to show for my hard work or for my life.
- I am awkward & unattractive – at a cocktail party over ten years ago, the boyfriend of a colleague said, “wow- look at you- you’re an amazon woman!” and went on to joke about my size. I had previously always hated standing out. Always the tallest girl, always in the middle of the back row in school photos. This is a strange comment that for some reason I have held on to for all these years. I have never seen him again, nor have I worn high heels since.
- I am overweight – I have kept a beautiful dark purple dress I wore at my Hen’s night. I love the dress and have fabulous memories wearing it. It has been in the back of my wardrobe for ten years, a constant reminder of my weight gain and disappointment in my body.
- I didn’t do enough – when my father was battling cancer, I was parenting a 1 and 3 year old, with another baby on the way. It was a constant struggle, wanting to be there and support him but also needing to be there for my young family. I will constantly question myself- could I have done more?
Breaking it down now, I can see some of this negativity comes from setting high (sometimes unachievable) expectations on myself. Others have come from silly little words and actions of others that for some reason (?) I have chosen to hold on to.
Either way, I know I can choose to change my thought patterns. I love Louise Hay and have read a lot on using positive thoughts and affirmations to create the life you desire.
And so now, as the challenge is set… I am letting these negative thoughts go. I am releasing them and refuse to hold on to them anymore. They do not serve me any useful purpose. I do not want or need these thoughts in my life.
What matters is what I believe about me. I will create thoughts that represent me. I replace negative ramblings with positive affirmations:
- I am a great mum. I love my children and am doing the best that I can.
- I am beautiful and I love being tall.
- I love myself and I deserve to be fit and healthy.
- Some things are out of my control. I am happy doing the best I can.
My mantra this year is Just Do It.
Today I’m adding another, thanks to Deb. Stay on the path that is true to you.
This has been my link up for week 9 of Debra Dane’s 52 Week Simplify Your Life challenge. – Go Easier on Yourself. What negative beliefs are you holding on to?
**END NOTE** I am already making a conscious effort to engage positive thoughts and actions. I have recently taken action to lose weight and for our wedding anniversary (posted here) I wore my purple dress AND high heels and felt AWESOME!